


Heart Of Glass, Heart Of Stone

by tielan



Series: Fire And Ice: MCU Jaeger AU [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Jaegers, Alternate Universe - Pacific Rim Fusion, Angst, Conflict, Crash & Burn, Gen, still not the happy ending you're looking for, trope: steel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 06:57:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12812124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tielan/pseuds/tielan
Summary: She's steel and nothing can touch her.





	Heart Of Glass, Heart Of Stone

**Author's Note:**

> For my [2015-2016 Ladies Bingo](https://tielan.dreamwidth.org/866304.html) card: "Steel"

 

Maria is just sorting out the schedules for the calibration crews for _Serpent Snarl_ when she spots the pilots making their way across the Shatterdome floor.

As though this morning’s news wasn’t bad enough.

“Behold,” mutters Tendo Choi, “here’s poison.”

“But you’re still going to love me and leave me,” Maria notes as she checks over the LOCCENT crews Tendo has assigned for the work. Everything seems in order, so she authorises it and sends it off to HR Scheduling, where it’ll pop up in the rosters of everyone involved.

“I have a meeting with Uchibori,” says Tendo apologetically. “But I can arrange for a rescue party in five minutes if you need an escape hatch.”

“I think I’ll survive.” Maria appreciates the concern, even as she waves him away. She can deal with Rumlow and Rollins if she has to. They’re not particularly delightful specimens of humanity, but they’re Jaeger pilots with a successful kill rate, and right now, in the state of the fight against the _kaiju_ , that’s all the PPDC cares about.

“Hey Hill.” Rumlow falls into step just behind her, tall and squarely muscular. “Got the schedules for the recalibration yet?”

“The servos on the right aren’t fully in concert,” grunts Rollins. “Whip won’t be effective.”

“The morning shift’s on it,” Maria tells them, hardly glancing over her shoulder. “ _Serpent_ will be ready for your patrol tomorrow afternoon.”

“It’d better be.”

“Never been one to let the grass grow under your feet, huh?” Rumlow sounds brisk and approving, as though Maria needs his good opinion. “Good work. Hey, did you hear that they’re transferring Captain America over here?”

“Along with your old boyfriend.”

“And his new copilot.” Maria is relieved to hear that her voice is even. “Yes, I heard.”

“Not very nice of them. Considering.”

“Considering he screwed around with another woman—”

“While you were helping save Potts from the ‘ _ju_ heads.”

“And got caught on video.”

Rumlow grimaces, like he’s not actually enjoying this. “We didn’t say it back then, but that was fucked up.”

Maria’s at her office and turns, a smile carefully pasted on her face. “It was. And so was he, after losing Barnes while Drifting. But that’s done – over a year ago now.”

“We’re just saying, we’re on your side.”

She sincerely doubts that, but part of Rumlow and Rollins’ sting is that they’re smart enough to know how to needle someone so that it doesn’t show, and malicious enough to get pleasure in watching people either fumble how to take their comments, or suffer the pricking in silence. Maria’s learned not to give them anything to watch; cheerful agreement works, like she doesn’t have a mind of her own.

“Don’t think I don’t appreciate that.” Maria nods at them both as she pushes open the door into her office. “And thanks for the heads up. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to shuffle the shifts so your Jaeger gets the attention it needs.”

Her door is one of the ones that swings automatically shut, which she’s found useful for deterring people when she doesn’t want to be bothered. It works with Rumlow and Rollins, at least, so Maria’s not complaining. She drops into her chair and places her hands flat on the desk to keep them from shaking.

Intellectually, she always knew that she’d have to see Steve again sooner or later. Even if he never piloted again, his name would still have been in every retrospective on the Jaeger program from now until never. Between the narrative of two good-looking, all-American guys with the golden trilogy of charm, charisma, and courtesy, the extremely successful kill score of _Captain America_ , and Steve finishing the kill even after Bucky died during the fight against _Reshashabi_ was always going to bring him up when the Jaeger program was reviewed.

And once he found a second co-pilot, crossing paths professionally was always going to happen.

She just didn’t think it would be so _soon_. 

There’s a knock on the door, brisk and businesslike, and when she calls ‘come in’ the door pushes open to two round, cheerful faces.

“Ah,” says Betsy Jiang with satisfaction. “They’re not here.”

“We saw Rumlow and Rollins coming for you and thought we should intervene.” Belle Jiang tilts her head, her hair cut shoulder length, the fringe straight across her brows. “We were wrong?”

“No.” Maria smiles easily. “Thanks for checking, though. Oh, and congratulations on the transfer back home. We’ll miss you here.”

“We will miss you there,” says Betsy cheerfully.

“But it will be nice to be back in Sydney.” Belle notes. “A little further away from Our Father Who Art In Hong Kong...”

“He’ll want to have dinner before we go.”

“Well, it’s not like we can’t afford it.”

“I guess it’s not like we have to see him every day, either...” Betsy glances at Maria. “We’ll have a games night before we go, right?”

“Talk to Carol. She’s the social organiser around here.”

Carol’s been in Hong Kong for two years – nearly six months longer than Maria. It was Carol and Alison Metisi who met Maria fresh off the plane at Hong Kong International, jetlagged as hell from LA, and trying to keep it all together emotionally after she’d been moved out of sight and out of mind by the PPDC stratosphere. They grabbed her arm, grabbed her bags, and promptly dragged her out to eat soup noodles with roast goose and get stinking drunk in a tiny hole-in-the-wall that didn’t care who she was, who she’d been fucking, or who he’d ended up fucking.

And Maria had been glad to escape the gossip hell of LA.

Now, within a week, Steve and his new co-pilot will be in the Hong Kong Shatterdome, and Maria will be working with them. She’ll be just one of seven Operations Commanders in the Shatterdome, but her personal history is going to come up again, because it seems that Rumlow and Rollins are going to rake up the old muck just because they can.

Maria is just going to have to weather it.

But this is not like back then.

She’s more stable now. She’s gotten over him, let the betrayal and hurt seep through her out to the other side. She’ll see him, speak with him, work with him again. She’ll be civil. She’s stronger now and her foolish and ill-fated romance with Steve is an old chapter in her history.

She’s steel and nothing can touch her.

–

The mess hall is pretty crowded with several shift crews all at the 1900 hours dinner sitting, as well as several Jaeger crews, including those of the newly-arrived _Captain America_ Jaeger.

Is it just her imagination that makes her hear Steve’s laugh rising up through the babble down on the mess hall floor, or is he actually down there? The thought makes her stomach curl at the edges, and even the smell of the rice and greens on her plate is nauseating.

She’s just contemplating putting the tray down and grabbing a nutribar instead, when someone catches her on the shoulder, making her start.

“Oh, sorry,” Jean’s expression is sympathetic, but her tone is brisk and easy. “Genevieve wanted to talk to you about an idea she had for improving the pulse cannon reload rate in _Phoenix Fire_ , so if you have time over dinner or even after...”

“I...” Maria marshals her thoughts. “After. Say, my office at 2000?”

“I’ll let her know.” Jean’s smile is warm before she steps past to join her sister and her crew at one of the tables.

Maria grabs a drink pack from the fridge as Colleen Wing comes up alongside her and studies the drink selection, although her gaze in the glass reflection is on Maria, not on the drinks.

“Four o’clock as you go down the stairs. Table six.”

Does the room quieten as she starts down the stairs to the mess hall floor or is it all in her imagination? Either way, she lets her gaze drift over the room as though looking for somewhere to sit, and she sees Steve looking her way, paused in his meal.

The twist of nausea yanks at her stomach. She can almost taste the bile in her mouth. But her gaze keeps moving and she doesn’t give any sign that she’s seen him as she takes the last few steps down to the mess hall level and makes for the table where Carol and several other Shatterdome Operations crew are holding a space for her.

Walking to the table is like running a gauntlet. She can feel the eyes upon her – the turned heads, the leaned-in whispers.

Rumlow and Rollins and their crew spread the gossip through the Shatterdome, just in case the Chinese weren’t aware of her history. Oh, they did it under the guise of making sure that a Floor Commander of Shatterdome Operations wasn’t going to break down on the job, but really, they did it because they were assholes. And while the Chinese are less invested in the kind of gossip that fuels American entertainment sites, they’re also less polite about staring. Besides, everyone is curious about a story with the potential for drama unfolding right in front of them.

Maria isn’t going to play the drama queen. No, she’ll be the ice queen, the cold, hard-hearted bitch who isn’t going to give Steve Rogers the time of day unless she absolutely has to.

She’s steel, and she’s not going to give them a thing.

The Shatterdome women shuffle over for her without comment, although she spots a few narrowed eyes and elbows expertly wielded to shut up anyone who wants to draw the discussion over to the man at table six. Otherwise, the women don’t require her to add to the conversation, they don’t ask her questions, and the only mention of the _Captain America_ Jaeger is that the new crew chief thinks he’s hot stuff and the worst part of it is he’s not entirely wrong.

Maria has little memory of that dinner, what she ate, who was there. She’s only vaguely aware of the shoulders around her, the requests for the condiment basket, the query about work. Words and meaning flow around her, barely touching her. She escapes to her office at the first possible opportunity, but Steve and his crew are still there.

She doesn’t look at them, and although there’s a brief hush, his new co-pilot makes a comment on something one of their crewmembers has done, and the conversation resumes. Still, by the time she’s walked the length of the mess hall with her tray in hand, Maria’s hands are clammy and she can barely answer the cleaning staff’s casual inquiries after her.

She spends the evening with Genevieve Farrell and Samir Rohyagi, the crew chief and weapons tech for _Phoenix Fire_ , working out how to make Samir’s idea about the pulse cannon a reality without destroying the Jaeger in the process.

On the way back to her quarters, she passes through the Shatterdome Floor and hears the chatter and music of the ‘tailgate party’ taking place at the foot of the newly-arrived Jaeger to welcome pilots and crew. She doesn’t stop, doesn’t go to see, doesn’t turn to look. She walks, straight and tall, to the hallway leading to the personal quarters, and she doesn’t stop.

She’s steel and she’s been through the fire already.

–

Over the next few days Maria glimpses Steve here and there in the Shatterdome – usually in the mess, occasionally on the floor, once in the Kwoon. He doesn’t seek her out, she certainly doesn’t seek him out. She meets with the various members of _Captain America’s_ crew as she organises repair equipment, maintenance access, and work shifts. Some of them she knows from before, some of them she doesn’t; most are professional, although a few are snide – including the new crew chief, full of himself and ‘his’ Jaeger.

There’s nothing she can do about that but get on with her work.

She eats, she sleeps, she works her shift.

Of course, the _detente_ they’re in can’t last forever. In an active Shatterdome, their paths are going to cross directly, sooner or later.

She’s discussing the best time for unloading a shipment of Jaeger repair parts from Germany with another Shatterdome Floor Ops Commander when Steve and his pilot return from patrol early due to a blip in their Jaeger technics, and are walking across the Shatterdome floor.

“Maria.”

“Steve.”

He looks older and sharper, the planes of his face more pronounced, like he’s lost weight. The lines around his eyes are deeper, and he holds himself more proudly, with little of the casual slouch and swagger that exemplified him while he was with Bucky.

It’s only been a year since she saw him, and she han’t kept up with any of the gossip around him and his new co-pilot.

“I...It’s good to see you.” The words are soft and rushed, the tone he used to use on her when all he wanted was a private moment alone with her. The memories rush back – he always had an edge when he got off patrol, and if she wasn’t on shift—

Maria steps back, instinctively putting space between them. Steve drops his gaze. His co-pilot winces.

Scott comes to the rescue with swift tact. “Rogers, Wilson. I’ll be with you in a minute.” He turns to Maria, and hands the tablet back. “The proposal sounds reasonable. We’ll need to move _Phoenix_ to one of the nearer slots, though…”

Maria scrapes her thoughts together. “We could swap _Phoenix_ and _Ninja_ around to the nearer delivery bay…”

“And we’ll need Soong’s crew for the repairs."

“We’re looking at a month of shift-shuffling. The overtime is going to be hell.”

“Yes, well, since _you_ told Jean it could be done, _you_ get to submit the paperwork.” Scott cocks an eyebrow at her in challenge.

“You’re all heart.” Maria manages a smile back. Scott’s one of the good guys; that doesn’t mean she’ll let him olly-in free… “I’ll let you break the news to _Ninja Violet_ that they have to give up their berth, then.”

He grimaces. Betsy Braddock of _Ninja Violet_ has been determinedly flirting with him for the last six months, and hasn’t let up even now that Jean Grey – Scott’s partner of nearly four years – has been assigned to Hong Kong with her separated-from-birth twin sister and co-pilot, Madelyne Pryor.

“Now who’s all heart? Did Tendo speak with you about the co-ordinator meeting tomorrow morning? Half an hour either way of the shift change.”

“Yeah, I got that.” Maria tucks her tablet under her arm. “I’ll see you there.”

A quick nod suffices Steve and his co-pilot as she walks away.

There’s no call after her, no footsteps, no touch on her shoulder.

She doesn’t look back, just swallows down her disappointment and her annoyance at her disappointment.

She’s steel and he can’t hurt her anymore.

–

The modifications to _Phoenix Fire_ start badly.

Incorrect parts are delivered. Calls to suppliers receive short shift. Costs escalate, and tempers – pilots, crew, and Shatterdome personnel – run on short fuses. And because Maria authorised the modifications, she’s in the middle of it all.

And, of course, Steve decides to come see her in the middle of it all, knocking on her propped-open office door early one afternoon.

“Hi.”

Maria looks up from her paperwork. He’s leaning against the doorjamb, casual and easy, like he didn’t break her heart, leave her open to the derision of the world, and then withdraw from public sight for a year, only to return in a blaze of glory and come to haunt her at work again.

“Steve. How can I help you?”

“You could start by being a little less polite.”

He wants to have this conversation here and now? Why not? Maria supposes everything else in her life is FUBAR’d at the moment, so why should this be any different?

“Less polite as in, ‘Get out of my office, you cheating bastard’?”

“Technically, we weren’t together,” he says grimly. “You broke up with me the week before! I was still working through Bucky’s death!”

“You weren’t working through anything, Steve! You were stuck in depression, anxiety, and Drift psychosis. It took me walking away and a major scandal to shake you out of it!”

The job had been demanding enough before she started dating a Jaeger pilot, and suddenly it became a lot worse – every word, every look, every change in routine – or even no change – dissected by the gossip Twitterati. _She wore her hair down in a work meeting. What might that mean?_ And then _Reshashabi_ came along and smashed through _Captain America’s_ chestplate, ripping Barnes out of the Conn-Pod and tearing the Drift apart.

And Maria found herself romantically involved with a man who’d lost half his soul.

She tried. She really tried. But she wasn’t good enough – or supportive enough, or gentle enough, or whatever enough – to fill the hole in him, and the longer they stayed together the harder it got to say ‘no’. So she broke the link and walked away, because the alternative was to allow herself to be sucked into the black hole that Bucky had left in Steve, and as much as she loved Steve, she wasn’t going to do that.

“Well, you walked away pretty thoroughly, didn’t you? One visit, and only because I asked for you to come and see me...”

Only because she couldn’t escape it. “I’m not in the habit of catching up with exes after I’ve exed them. Especially not when they’ve gotten me voted as ‘Worst Girlfriend Of 2017’ in every poll from here to Peru!”

“They—What?”

Maria’s laugh grates in her throat. “After you  _technically_ didn’t cheat on me, a Twitterati account pronounced that I had to be was a pretty useless slut since my boyfriend preferred his dead buddy’s seconds to me. It got more than thirty thousand retweets and comments. I nearly lost my job.”

The grief and stress of that time clutches at her gut, drowning her in the desperation she’d felt at the time. She’d been within inches of being fired by the PPDC Secretary General – Alexander Pierce – for ‘bringing down the noble purpose of the Jaeger Program’ as he put it. Only her exemplary record, her action in Australia helping Pepper Potts, and the combined financial, political, and institutional might of Stark Industries, Councillorwoman Hawley, and half the Shatterdome Marshalls around the Pacific rim had kept her in the game.

She lays her palms flat her desk and breathes in her nose and out through her mouth, steady breaths that calm her.

Within two months of the scandal, Fury had reassigned her to Hong Kong.

Sometimes Maria thought it was the only thing that saved her career.

_You’re not being demoted. The truth is I’m furious at losing you, Maria. But we can’t run a Shatterdome like this and you need to be somewhere with fewer gossips than Hollywood – at least until the dust clears. Plus, Hiromi needs someone to run endgame on her Shatterdome ever since her best Floor Operations commander up and had a third kid and decided he actually wanted to parent this one..._

“I didn’t know.” Steve seems chastened for a moment, before he frowned. “What account?”

“I don’t know. One of them. All of them! It got retweeted thousands of times, so for all I know the _kaiju_ got a good giggle out of it when it reached their dimension!”

She’s being overdramatic, she knows, but she’s tired and not up to dealing with this right now. Suppliers need kicking and shifts need rearranging and pilots need to be dealt with. Rehashing her personal hell of eighteen months ago is not something she cares to do on top of everything else that’s going on in her life.

“Is there something you need, Steve? Something that doesn’t involve a rehash of what happened to our relationship?”

He hesitates, as though he’s choosing his words. But he waits too long. Footsteps echo down the corridor, and Madelyne Pryor, pilot of  _Phoenix Fire,_ swings in the door without so much as a knock or an ‘are you busy’ “Maria, if you tell me one more time that it’s the suppliers— Well, hel- _lo_ there.”

“Ranger Pryor.”

“Madelyne,” she says immediately, her smile swift and stunning. Maria doesn’t grind her teeth as the gorgeous Jaeger pilot holds out a hand and looks up at Steve through long, thick lashes. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Steve...”

“Good work on Verocitor last month,” Steve says. “Sam and I were awake when the feeds came through. _Phoenix_ did a neat job of it.”

“Jean says a clean fight’s a good fight.” Madelyne turns to Maria. “Of course, we won’t be fighting at all if we can’t get our Jaeger back from repairs...”

“The suppliers have promised me delivery of the correct parts by tomorrow.”

“Just so long as they actually deliver this time!”

Maria doesn’t point out she can only do so much in the face of external logistics since Madelyne isn’t in a mood to be appeased on this point. “Everything’s ready for when the parts come in. Genny and Samir have the crews all prepped to start the instant the pallet is off the truck, and it’ll be done within the week.”

Madelyne takes her eyes off Steve to glare at Maria. “Just so long as it is. The repairs have been very badly handled, Maria, and I’m going to file a complaint to the Marshal.”

There’s not much Maria can say in response to that. Madelyne is the kind of person who speaks her mind and doesn’t retract even after she’s been proved wrong. Jean is more willing to give ground, and will apologise if she’s said something in the heat of temper. Madelyne just never mentions it again.

“I’ll keep you informed,” is what she says.

“You do that.” The crispness of Madelyne’s tone fades as she turns to Steve and visibly softens, her mouth curving in a smile that makes Maria’s hands curl into fists. “So, what are you doing now, Steve?”

Madelyne and Jean are both drop-dead gorgeous, although they manifest that in very different ways. Jean’s hair is cut short and close to her head – a pixie style that looks as good on her as Madelyne’s long, beautifully-styled locks look on her. Jean tends to dress down while Madelyne dresses up. And Jean projects an air of ‘girl next door’ - wholesome American apple pie, while Carol once commented that Madelyne looks like she’s one button away from indecency, even when completely covered up by Ranger gear.

Right now, all Madelyne needs to do is lean over and Steve could see straight down her tank top. Which is none of Maria’s business anyway, and even if it was, Steve’s able to manage himself – assuming he wants to. He’s a free agent, with a new co-pilot who’s known to like anything that likes him back, he can do whatever he pleases.

Maria just wants him and Madelyne out of her office while they do whatever they’re going to do. She stares at the modifications schedule for Phoenix Fire, and sees none of it. But she reaches for a pen as Steve answers very easily, “Sam and I were planning to head out to the Boneslums. We’ve been so busy on patrol we haven’t had time to see Hong Kong.”

“Well, then.” Madelyne tosses her head and hooks her arm into Steve’s. “How about we go find our co-pilots and hunt up that back alley distillery the locals have been praising? You’re not on roster until tomorrow evening, and we’re in drydock until Maria gets our Jaeger fixed...”

They wander off, Steve sounding very affable as Madelyne interrogates him about their last posting in Lima, and what places he’d recommend in the city and surrounds, and what he thinks of the Peruvian women.

Maria dies a little inside as he laughs. “I’m taking the Fifth on that.”

“Well, I know you like brunettes,” comes the teasing response, and Maria can imagine the look Madelyne is giving him through lowered lashes. “But have you ever thought about branching out a little?”

Steve’s answer is indistinct, and Maria’s so relieved that she feels a little light-headed. Or maybe that’s the nausea she’s suddenly fighting as she sits at her desk, her hands pressed very flat against her papers, focused on controlling her breathing so she doesn’t start shaking.

She’s steel and she’s got a job to do.

–

The parts for Phoenix Fire arrive as per schedule, and Maria’s life becomes a blur of work schedules, maintenance orders, technical specialists, and modifications.

Madelyne complained to Marshal Uchibori who made all the right noises for the pilot to go away, satisfied that she’d had her say. But Uchibori took Maria aside and said that while she felt Madelyne was overstepping her bounds, there would be no peace until Phoenix Fire was out of drydock and ready to go out again, and how could they resolve this issue?

So Maria’s working eighteen hour days – her usual twelve hour shift on the Shatterdome floor, and then another five or six hours doing whatever needs doing to help the project along. She falls into bed at night and dream of parts and pieces, waking up tired.

“You need a break.” Carol says at breakfast one morning. “I’m going to have a word with Uchibori. I don’t give a flying fuck what Madelyne thinks— We have queues of people lining up to be pilots, but good Floor Commanders are hard to come by.”

Only by the time Carol gets to Uchibori, it turns out that Jean has already spoken to the Marshal – and possibly also to Madelyne, since the pointed comments stop. Not that it makes that much difference to Maria, since by that time they’re at the tail end of the modifications – week three, because even Stark Tech doesn’t always work first go – and there’s no backing out.

“You’re _only_ working four shifts this week?” Pepper says, not quite managing to hide her disbelief over the connection. “As compared to...how many last week?”

“Six.”

“On top of the modifications? Four shifts still sounds like far too many.”

“There’s no-one else available to take up the slack,” Maria explained. “Summers and Weng were okay to take an extra shift each, but it means they’re working seven shifts a week and it wears you down.”

“As compared to working six days a week, _and_ overseeing whatever’s going on with _Phoenix Fire_? Why on earth didn’t you ask me to find you a project manager for the work?”

Maria blinks at the offer. “Uh, because it’s not your job?”

“It’s not my job to help save the world as CEO of one of the biggest Jaeger tech manufacturing companies?” Pepper asks, pointed sweetness dripping through her voice. “Honestly, Maria, sometimes you worry me.”

Maria snorts. It’s nice to be clucked over, even if she’d never admit it. “Only sometimes?”

“Well, I’m coming over to Hong Kong at the end of the week – apparently they’re already planning the Mark IVs and China is demanding at least one be Chinese-designed, -made, and -crewed.”

“So long as they’re footing the bill...”

“They’re footing the bill.” Pepper sighs. “I’ll bring one of my best project managers along – he was heavily involved with the design, development, and manufacture of Steel Patriot, so he’s got a good grasp of things.”

“And didn’t get recruited into the PPDC?”

“He didn’t like the hours or being a cog in the machine. But he’s happy to do some consulting work...”

“At consulting rates, of course.”

“I’ll get it sorted with the PPDC,” Pepper repeats. “You work at keeping body and soul together until I get him there!”

“It’s only another eight days by schedule.” Maria tries not to feel like she’s being usurped. She doesn’t particularly want to be working these kinds of hours, but the job is getting done, and that’s what counts, right?

“Hm,” is Pepper’s noncommittal response. “Well, I’ll see you on Sunday afternoon, Maria. Try not to kill yourself before then.”

The admonishment stings. She looks after herself. It’s not like she’s fighting kaiju or  _‘ju-_ heads, just working a couple of extra shifts. And, no, she’s not eating as much as she should, but who has time to eat when a shift gets busy?

Besides, Maria doesn’t feel very hungry lately. She always loses her appetite when stressed.

The Saturday night to Sunday morning graveyard shift is usually pretty hard. This week, it’s a nightmare.

 _Captain America_ develops a limp and has to come in early from patrol, necessitating the swift and urgent dispatch of _Shaolin Rogue_ in its place. The software on one of the lifters goes on the fritz, leaving six specialist technicians trapped in the belly of _Phoenix Fire_ with no way out except the way they came – now blocked by the lifter platform. The crew chief of _Serpent Snarl_ is videotaped throwing a shitfit after discovering his ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend works in LOCCENT at the Hong Kong Shatterdome, and someone puts it up on the internet.

Maria discovers this last when she walks in to the off-duty crew watching the replay of the rant in the breakroom, avidly staring at the video of their colleague as he loses it, bellowing and shouting about ‘beady eyed, flat-nosed, tiny dickwad Chinks’. There’s laughter and more than a few jeers – Kirkgaarde may be crew chief for _Serpent Snarl_ , but he’s not well-liked by the other Jaeger crews.

“Gotta say,” drawls one of the crewmembers for _Lucky Seven_ , “if someone had to cop a Rogers, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer...” His words trail into an awkward silence as he and the rest of the break room realises that Maria is standing at the breakroom door.

“That turnaround time is pretty fast,” she observes, fighting back an atavistic reaction that she doesn’t quite understand. “Didn’t Kirkgaarde and the rest of _Snarl’s_ crew go out to the city just last night?”

Someone coughs. “Um, yeah. They ain’t back yet.”

So this has yet to blow up in their faces.

“Flag the video for PR to follow up – they’ll probably find out about it pretty fast, but it doesn’t hurt to give them a heads up.”

Maria gets herself a cup of tea and a cookie from the cookie jar, ignoring the shuffle of people behind her as she heads back out to the floor.

As she walks back out to the Jaegers standing in their bays, her heart is pounding. Maria takes a moment in the shadow of a Jaeger to press her hand over her heart. It doesn’t ease the ache or slow the thumping beat.  _Cop a Rogers?_ Where did that come from? She makes the connection of course, but she didn’t realise it had become Shatterdome vernacular. It doesn’t matter, one way or the other. None of her business. Not her problem. She’s got a job to do. She carefully puts it to the back of her head and continues on to where they’re running a brainstorm on how they’re going to get the trapped technicians out if they can’t reprogram the lifter platform before the end of shift.

Two hours later, the technicians are out, and Maria is heading back across the floor.

She spots the scuffle as she crosses the floor, two guys holding another back from a third who’s saying something in an angry voice, but doesn’t seem to be intent on getting physical. She knows what’s about to happen, even as the man being held back throws off his restrainers, and comes in swinging.

It takes her a split-second to identify the crew chief of  _Serpent Snarl_ and the man he’s beating on, and then she’s moving into the fray, shouting, “Break it up! Enough!”

She helps drag Kirkgarde off Soong. The Chief is spitting and blustering and swearing like a madman, and he lashes out wildly –  _Snarl_ isn’t on shift right now, so the crew were probably on R &R and he got drunk. However, in the process, Maria gets an elbow to her cheekbone for her pains, followed up with a hard smack to the side of her head. At least it’s not her eye. She sees double for a moment or two, and reels back. But the Floor Commander for the next shift has just turned up, and Tom neatly steps in to takes her place.

It’s Tom who gets it all sorted out, and the two brawlers are pulled away, Kirkgarde to lockup, Soong to LOCCENT – or possibly infirmary. The crowds disperse, cheerful and enthused by the fight. Maria just stands there for a moment, her hands by her sides. It’s nearly the end of shift after a long night in a long week, and she’s kind of at the end of her tether. Her cheekbone aches, but, really, so does the rest of her – the cheekbone is just the focal point.

A hand comes down on her shoulder and she startles.

“Mars? Hey, easy!” Tom Fotuaika is Samoan, built like a brick shithouse, as Scott Hansen likes to say. But for all his size, he’s the gentlest person Maria knows, and he winces as he studies her face. “Ouch. Gonna be an impressive bruise. Better get that seen to. You okay?”

She laughs shortly, and winces at the intense ache that produces. She feels a little...loose in her head, like it’s floating, unattached to anything inside her skull. “Nothing that a few days’ of sleep won’t fix.”

“Mhm...” Tom tilts his head to study her. “Anything urgent that needs handing over?”

Right now, she can’t think of what she was doing before she broke up the fight. “I should write up the incident—”

“I can do it. I saw most of it from up the stairs. What was the trigger?”

“Soong’s seeing Kirkgaarde’s ex-girlfriend.”

“Ah, so one of the classics?” Tom glances out across the Shatterdome floor, then folds his arms. “Company coming.”

“What the fuck just happened?” Rumlow is in full belligerence mode as he strides up, Rollins close behind like a hulking shadow. “Kirkgaarde just texted me that he’s in the brig. For a fight?”

“He tried to beat up Liam Soong,” Maria says, not liking the way Rumlow is leaning in, but refusing to give ground. “Unprovoked attack – you know we can’t just let that go.”

“It’s a fucking Saturday night and he’s had a few! He’s still messed up over the bitch, and it was – what? Not that long. We sent him back in the car just ahead of us, and we only just got in. Fucking seriously? Two minutes at most!”

“Kirkgaarde’s one of the best we have,” Rollins says. “We need him.”

“And you’ll get him,” Maria tells them firmly. “Later today, when he’s out of the brig.”

“He doesn’t need to be in the brig – his defences are down, he lost his temper, was an idiot. But we just saw Loong heading back up stairs so...no harm, no foul, right?”

“He hit Maria,” Tom rumbles. “Cheekbone. And jumping an unarmed, unprepared guy isn’t ‘no foul’ in my country.”

“No offence, but your country is a toxic wasteland of _kaiju_ blue.” It’s not even the comment, it’s the off-hand manner in which Rumlow delivers it before he glares at Maria. “You’re going to write him up for a bruise? You can’t even see it!”

“I’m going to write him up for picking a fight,” Maria says. She doesn’t add, _and for being an asshole,_ although she thinks it. “He’ll be out of the brig in four hours, you can come pick him up then. Don’t argue, Rumlow, or did you want to take it to Uchibori?”

Marshal Uchibori is a stickler for the rules, although when she breaks them, she breaks them hard. Still, she prefers things to run neatly and smoothly, and fights and the people who pick them are not conducive to that. Rumlow knows he won’t win if he takes it higher, and on the Shatterdome Floor, the Floor Commander is God – even to Jaeger pilots.

“Fuck you and the stick up your ass,” Rollins rumbles. 

Rumlow smirks. “Then again, Rogers passed up on it – oho!”

Maria moved to plant her hand on Tom’s chest the instant she saw where the pilots were going. She’s grateful for Tom’s anger on her behalf, but they don’t need another fight. “Come back for your guy at 1030 hours, Rumlow.”

“Fine. We’ll be back for him then.”

They stalk off, and Maria takes her hand off Tom’s chest.

“One punch,” he growled. “Just one. He woulda seen it coming, too.”

“I can’t deal with anything else right now, Tom. You starting a fight would just... No. Thank you, but no.”

“Fine. But I’m writing him up as well as Kirkgaarde.”

She can’t stop him, and she’s not sure she would, either. “You do that.”

They start back towards the Commander’s office, and now that the adrenaline’s done and she has a moment, the weariness hits Maria hard.

“You head up to infirmary – I’ll finish off for you. You logged all the issues, right?”

“Logged and loaded.” Her thoughts engage again, replaying the night. “ _Cap_ had to come in, and _Rogue_ went out in their stead. Some techs got stuck in a loader, but we got them out two hours ago – the loader’s still in there, and—”

“Go,” Tom says, poking a finger into her shoulder. “And don’t skip infirmary– you took a decent shot—”

Maria snorted. “It’ll be fine. Aches a little, maybe. But I’ll sleep it off.”

Tom doesn’t look convinced, but he knows better than to argue with her, so he shrugs and lets her go.

It takes more effort than Maria likes to walk in a straight line. Her thoughts crash around the inside of her skull in a way that means it’ll still take her a couple of hours to fall asleep, but her body is light and her vision is a little floaty. Frankly, the pain of the cheekbone is keeping her anchored right now, it’s starting to hurt quite a bit, but the sensation is grounding.

Various crew members pass her on the way to her shift. A few give her a curious look and glance at their timepieces with a frown– she’s not supposed to be off-duty yet. One or two give her a curious look and then do a double-take as their eyes rest on her face.

Maria’s skin crawls and she fights the urge to hurry past.

Tonight’s situation with Kirkgaarde being videotaped brings her back to first time she walked into the LA Shatterdome after the video of Steve and Darcy made it out onto the internet. She’d wept herself dry by then, thought she was all out of emotion. The circus at the LA Shatterdome had made her see otherwise. And there was no avoiding the media storm.

Maria made no comment, added nothing to the media’s narrative of the betrayed woman. So they made up whatever they could imagine. Sometimes they didn’t even have to imagine it. Shatterdome might be united against the _kaiju_ but they were also individuals, many of whom liked a good gossip. Not everyone liked Maria to start with; dating Steve had only made her a bigger target as pride went before a fall, and glee followed a scandal.

It stung to see the turned heads and the mouths moving with lowered voices, the pitying looks, the unhidden smirks. There was some sympathy, yes, but not a lot. She’d gone back to work, because if she didn’t do something she’d go mad, but the cloud of shame and betrayal clogged her brain and snaked into her senses, just waiting for a moment to enfold her into a quiet despair.

Eventually it had.

Now isn’t like then, Maria reminds herself as she turned the last corner to the elevator shaft. This time, the video scandal doesn’t touch her – well, except for the bruise. It’s not a replay of what happened with Steve and Darcy, just emotional echoes.

Emotional echoes she can deal with – she learned how to in counselling.

But goddamn she’s  _tired._

As she presses the button to call the elevator, Maria’s thoughts drift.

She came out of ‘the girlfriend swap’ better than Darcy in the end, both emotionally and in the court of public opinion. Bad as it was to be the wronged woman, it was worse to be the scarlet one.

And probably even worse to have been seduced into it.

Steve was a force of nature; Bucky no less a charismatic powerhouse. But Bucky was dead, and Maria walked away, and in their absence, Steve turned to Darcy – someone who shared his pain and loss, someone who felt the emptiness he did—

And while Maria was furious and lost and sick when it all unfolded, time, distance, counselling, and antidepressants helped her see that if things had gone the other way, the scandal might very well have been her and Bucky.

These days, Darcy’s far away from the Jaeger program, notoriety, and the scandal which mired them all. She’d resigned her position, did grief counselling, and left the PPDC. Moved to the UK, met and married a research assistant at some university, and gladly faded into obscurity. The last time Maria heard from her was just after the news that Steve was back in the Jaeger program.

_You gonna be okay?_

_Here’s hoping._

_Good luck._

The elevator car arrives, and the crowd shuffles out past Maria, heading down the corridor towards mess hall. With her head starting to throb, Maria’s hand pauses over the button for the infirmary level, before she presses the one for crew quarters. With a rattle and a groan of metal, the elevator grinds its way up through the Shatterdome levels, and she concentrates on keeping it all together until she gets to her room.

When the elevator stops at the infirmary level, Maria’s confused for a moment. She pressed for her quarters, didn’t she—?

The doors slide open on a laugh and she looks up, instinctively, because she’d know that laugh anywhere.

Their eyes meet.

“Maria?”

The pounding in her head is making it hard to concentrate on willing the sudden bout of nausea away. She closes her eyes and takes a step back. The world starts to fade out, and although she tries to focus it back in again, it slides gently sideways—

Hands reach for her, support her, an arm slides around her back and the familiar scent of him wrenches. Maria jerks back into consciousness, instinctively struggling to get away. It doesn’t help that Steve’s too close, looking down at her, that her stomach is in freefall, that his companion – his co-pilot – is blocking the light, saying something about letting her breathe—

Maria’s gorge rises. She shoves away as fast as she can scramble backwards, kicking out with her boots and trying not to be sick—

She hasn’t eaten enough to actually throw up, but her body doesn’t care. She dry-retches, shoulders heaving as tears stream from her eyes, her bile bitter in her mouth. There may be people watching her – Steve and his co-pilot and other people whose footsteps she’s heard – but she can’t stop—

Someone kneels down beside her as she spits out the last bile, and starts to wipe her mouth with her sleeve. The packet of kleenex with the first already out is a welcome offering – but not as welcome as the hand which rests on her shoulder, light and tender, and the voice that says, “Maria?”

Maria takes the kleenex and wipes her mouth without looking at Pepper. “You’re not coming until later.”

“We left Hawai’i early,” says Pepper. “But have apparently arrived just in time.” Crouched down in her heeled boots, she tilts her head. “Are you able to get up—? My God, that’s—who did that?”

Pepper looks at Steve, who’s still hovering, big and concerned and distracting. It takes Maria a moment to realise Pepper’s referring the bruise on her cheek. She still feels fragmented, a little dizzy, a little ‘off’.

“Oh, that’s— It’s just— There was...there was a fight before. I caught a punch, that’s all.”

“It looks like it could do with some seeing to,” Pepper says in a tone that doesn’t allow for dissent. “Luckily, Jason and Ranger Wilson went to get a gurney—”

“Jason?”

“The project manager I brought along. He has experience in both the Vancouver and LA Shatterdomes. And was very impressed with what you’ve been doing.”

“He’s back,” Steve says starting to lean in, his concern washing over her like too much deodorant, “Let’s get you on—”

Maria doesn’t mean to flinch away, but something in her warns that if she starts holding onto him, she might not let go. Or she might vomit over him, which has a certain attaction, but—

Thankfully, she doesn’t have to do either, though, because Pepper’s there, an arm around her back, the faint, familiar lily-of-the-valley scent cut with something warmer and spicier than usual. They limp out in the corridor, out from the elevator car, and someone needs to call—

“Clean-up services.”

“They’re being called now,” Pepper says, still supporting her all the way to the gurney...

Once Maria’s on the gurney, the infirmary nurse who came with it takes charge, shining lights, asking questions, feeling Maria’s skull where she got knocked around, poking and prodding the bruise around Maria’s—

“Okay,” she says as Maria hisses. “I don’t think anything’s broken – which is lucky considering Kirkegaarde has a swing like a sledgehammer—”

“He was drunk.” Maria’s brain is starting to feel a little fuzzy; she can’t seem to focus on anything. Conversations are taking place in lowered tones and usually she’d be able to hear them, but everything seems to have narrowed down to the gurney and her body and the woman prodding her.“Is there—?” She’s suddenly thirsty. “I’d like a drink of water. There’s a water fountain—”

“Soon,” says the nurse, jerking her head at someone behind Maria. “Once we get you to the infirmary and into a bed.”

“I have one of those in my room—”

Before Maria can finish the statement, the gurney starts moving. She twists to find Pepper pushing her along the corridor, apparently unconcerned by the fact that she’s in heeled boots and a business suit.

“You don’t have to—”

“I came early to see you,” Pepper says mildly. “Of course, I imagined that you’d have time for breakfast, never thinking that you’d be coming off a shift having been involved in a fight.”

“I wasn’t _involved—_ ”

“But I’m sure I can find something to eat while the doctors look you over—”

“No need for that,” says the nurse briskly. “Diagnosis: mild concussion. No sudden movements, and monitoring for the next twelve hours. Infirmary’s empty right now – we’d just sent Soong back to LOCCENT when this call came – so she can sleep there. Also, anyone looking for her will go to her room, so maybe she’ll get some peace and quiet.”

“Just what I wanted for Christmas,” Maria mutters. But peace and quiet sounds kind of...nice. “I need to talk to—”

“Marshall Uchibori will, of course, be informed.” The nurse indicates the side corridor. “They’ll manage without you for a day, Maria.”

“I—” Panic claws at her – she can’t stop working, there’s too much to do—

Pepper reaches over the gurney edge and grips her shoulder. “Maria. It’s okay. It’s just one day.”

And if one day turns into two, and two days turns into three, and then—

“As it is, I’m sure they can manage without you for a few days,” Pepper soothes. “The work will get done, even if it won’t be as smoothly as you can do it. _You’re_ more important than the work.”

Maria appreciates the thought, but she’s not so sure about that. All she really has is work. Well, except for that brief time with Steve—and that turned out  _so_ well, didn’t it?

Pepper manoeuvres the gurney around the corner, and Maria looks back along the corridor. It’s an instinctive look, she doesn’t _need_ to see. Down at the elevator lobby, the man Pepper arrived with – the project manager, Jason – is talking with Steve and Wilson. At least, he’s talking with Wilson, their heads tilted in easy camaraderie.

Steve is watching her.

The look in his eyes curdles her stomach, and she turns her head away and closes her eyes.

Behind her eyelids she can see his expression – regretfulness, and...concern?

She doesn’t want his concern. She doesn’t need his concern.

She’s steel, and nothing can touch her.

Air soughs out of her lungs in a bitter laugh.

Yeah, right.

**Author's Note:**

> Currently the 'Next Story' link leads to another story in the MCU Pacific Riim universe I've created, but it's not the next story in this series about Maria and Pepper (and Maria/Steve), it's a Clint/Natasha story.


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